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I’m currently in a holding pattern in my late twenties. As I take this moment to reflect on my experience over the past few years, it turns out that I never had a plan and it worked out for the most part. I picked my college for its proximity to the beach, never applied for an internship in my life and didn’t bother submitting any job applications when I graduated either. I even picked up a second major in my senior year of college and studied abroad twice to delay graduation. With my shiny new diploma in hand, this was all I needed for my next transition right back to living with my mom as an unemployed millennial. This was when I learned how to climb rocks and drank beer in high volume. (Really selling myself to employers right now…) That memory was the last time I remember having absolutely no adult responsibilities. In hindsight my underachieving (and privilege) led to some of the happiest moments of my life. 😀

After a year or so I left my family and friends to accept a random job offer that paid below minimum wage in San Francisco, which really shows the how thoughtful I was at 23. I met the best roommate of my life randomly on Craigslist, met my first new friend at work, biked the Golden Gate bridge for the first time, worked at my first tech company and now I’m suddenly turning 29 this year. San Francisco is where I discovered my strengths and found my voice. This is also where I got the wind knocked out of me. Over time I drifted further away emotionally from good friends and family, and then what really crushed me was losing my Grampy.  I realized that I’m no longer in touch with my personal values. I don’t remember what I even set out to do back when I wanted to move out.

I believe that not all who wander are lost. Technically, every day is a “new start” but sometimes getting a new start involves letting go of old routines and relationships that keep us from moving forward. I’m fortunate enough to live a dream that I once thought was impossible for someone like me, but now I need to take some time to explore and reconnect with my values. I live to learn, to understand, to bring out the best in others, and to give back to my community. I’m grateful for all the people who helped me along the way and hope that I can do the same for others.

As for what I’m looking forward to in the next stage of life:

  • Challenges
  • Deep relationships
  • Creativity
  • Influence
  • Fun
  • Community

It’s time to reset. I’ve realized that it’s okay to lose your spark, but now it’s time to rise back up as the whole damn fire.

June 2019

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